A rare self-burn — A gay conservative is an oxymoron. However, the GOP feels that sexuality doesn’t matter as long as you’re mentally retarded. The first man to ever “prove” to the world that sexuality is a choice is once again back in the spotlight. …

Modern journalism at its finest — We knew we duped our readers through our realistic writing style, but we didn’t know we’d take it this far. We woke up on April 22, 2022 to 10,000 Twitter notifications. We found this odd, as we were grateful to get even 10 notifications on Twitter. We wondered if one…

A farce of the failures — If you can’t make it in Hollywood, work for the GOP. Yes, you’ll be hated for spreading nonsense. You may never get another job ever again. But for 15 minutes, you’ll get the fame and money you’ve always adored. Investigative journalist Chad Loder — or as we call it, Google…

The real Pizzagate — Social media, meaningless violence/war, and pizza have something in common. No, we’re not talking about QAnon. Twitter shockingly announced that the US suffered many casualties in its latest attack on China. Yes, the USA attacked a communist country that isn’t Russia. With the Metaverse hype booming, demand for semiconductors skyrocketed…

Nowhere in the Constitution does it say to ban kiddie porn — NOTE: This piece covers a controversial topic. Proceed with caution. Also, this was drafted in May 10, after the Roe v Wade overturn leak happened. At that time, Stephen Breyer was still on the Supreme Court. Now, Breyer has retired for Kentanji Brown Jackson to take his place. Remember when…

Dishonor to the name Kevin — We would make fun of women for watching The Bachelor for meaningless drama. We chose not to when we realized men watch the NBA for the same reasons. Basketball soap opera superstar Kevin Durant has requested a trade a day after his best friend Kyrie Irving re-upped with the Brooklyn…

Pedophilia is so hot right now — NOTE: This piece covers a controversial topic. Proceed with caution. Good news, GOP/MAGA/Trump cult. You now have a safe haven for your revered leaders to sexually assault children with their small dicks. Only downside is that you all have to trust a Cuban. Or worse, a Democrat. Liberal entrepreneur Mark…

Size does matter — We’ll take “Headlines we never thought we’d write,” for 5000, Alex Trebek. Wait, that’s not a numerical category? We apologize, we must have gotten that number confused with Shaquille O’Neal’s missed free throws. One month ago, we were watching a brutal massacre on TV . No, not the Russia-Ukraine War…

Modern problems require modern solutions — NOTE: This piece covers a controversial topic. Proceed with caution. Desperate times call for desperate measures. The Supreme Court recently overturned Roe vs Wade just so states can decide whether abortions are legal. Which is code for “Don’t live in Red States.” Texas immediately announced bringing back their abortion bounty…