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Ellie Salvaje
Ellie Salvaje

586 Followers

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READ THIS POST BEFORE CONTINUING TO PERUSE MY BLOG

Table of Contents — Hi. First of all, welcome to my blog! My name is Ellie Salvaje, and I write Onion-style, satirical pieces primarily for ExtraNewsfeed, MuddyUm, The Haven, The Bad Influence, and Dr. Funny. I pretty much write about anything: corporations, politics, sports, religion, entertainment, technology, current events. I can be described by…

Humor

7 min read

Humor

7 min read


Published in Doctor Funny

·1 day ago

Josh Hawley Endorses TikTok After the App Called Him a Pedophile

Tyranny of big tech — A Republican flip-flopping his/her stance? Who could have seen that coming? While the GOP vows to defund the police/FBI after their raid on Brandon [formerly Donald] Trump, Republican Senator Josh Hawley is ignoring his anti-Big Tech book to support TikTok. “I stated Big Tech threatens American liberty. They silence conservatives…

Humor

4 min read

Josh Hawley Endorses TikTok After the App Called Him a Pedophile
Josh Hawley Endorses TikTok After the App Called Him a Pedophile
Humor

4 min read


Published in MuddyUm

·3 days ago

DoorDash Quashes Stakeholders’ Fears by Creating a New Pandemic to Increase Its Stock Price

Keeping the one trick pony alive — It’s barbaric to sacrifice humans for profits. But gutting employee health due to warehouse and sweatshop burnout is totally fine. While Amazon and Nike practice the widely accepted, hidden rule of employee abuse, DoorDash is opting for employee and customer abuse. The company is leaning towards this controversial strategy after…

Humor

5 min read

DoorDash Quashes Stakeholders’ Fears by Creating a New Pandemic to Increase Its Stock Price
DoorDash Quashes Stakeholders’ Fears by Creating a New Pandemic to Increase Its Stock Price
Humor

5 min read


Published in The Haven

·Jan 27

President Joe Biden Furiously Yells at Staff for Letting Him Hire Smokey Robinson to Spread Wildfire Awareness

Waste of tax-payer dollars — Only in America can a world leader go from a racist fat bitch to a senile grandpa in the span of 8 years. President Joe Biden once again made a gaffe that made his critics question his mental stability. …

Humor

5 min read

President Joe Biden Furiously Yells at Staff for Letting Him Hire Smokey Robinson to Spread…
President Joe Biden Furiously Yells at Staff for Letting Him Hire Smokey Robinson to Spread…
Humor

5 min read


Published in Doctor Funny

·Jan 22

Kanye West Claims the World Will Achieve Enlightenment When They Forget the Abhorrent Evils of Their History

Fahrenheit 312 — African-Americans have brought up the past to remind us of how significant their contributions were in creating this nation. Kanye West has now set civil rights back 200 years by telling us to forget history. Kanye West promoted this outrageous belief to address the backlash following his appearance on Alex…

Humor

6 min read

Kanye West Claims the World Will Achieve Enlightenment When They Forget the Abhorrent Evils of…
Kanye West Claims the World Will Achieve Enlightenment When They Forget the Abhorrent Evils of…
Humor

6 min read


Published in MuddyUm

·Jan 19

Kyrsten Sinema Sets Society Back 300 Years by Banning Vehicles for Creating Abortions

Conservative problems require conservative solutions — Conservatives in Arizona long for the good old days. We just didn’t know those days were in the 1700s. Arizona recently passed a bill to ban vehicles. We were amused that the state went full Amish to assuage the anti-seatbelt activists’ concerns after this safety device became mandatory in cars…

Humor

5 min read

Kyrsten Sinema Sets Society Back 300 Years by Banning Vehicles for Creating Abortions
Kyrsten Sinema Sets Society Back 300 Years by Banning Vehicles for Creating Abortions
Humor

5 min read


Published in The Haven

·Jan 16

NFL Owners Inform Troy Vincent That His Fear of Scouting Combines Emulating Slave Auctions Will Be Resolved Next Year When The League Hires Only White Slaves

Make Football White Again — African-Americans have long demanded reparations for the hardships their ancestors suffered. Now, America has found an “acceptable” compromise. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell revisited the scout combine rules due to complaints of slave auction undertones. He told owners that NFL executive Troy Vincent complained that NFL scouts tested athletes’ physical abilities…

Humor

5 min read

NFL Owners Inform Troy Vincent That His Fear of Scouting Combines Emulating Slave Auctions Will Be…
NFL Owners Inform Troy Vincent That His Fear of Scouting Combines Emulating Slave Auctions Will Be…
Humor

5 min read


Published in MuddyUm

·Jan 13

George Santos Avoids Immediate Fraud Arrest in Brazil by Legally Changing His Name to Hakeem Jeffries

The resemblance is uncanny! — Smart people play chess when everyone else is playing checkers. When politicians play chess, George Santos plays twelve dimensional mancala. The congressman came under fire for making up his identity such that he alone would legally represent a company’s minority quota. George Santos claimed he was a gay, Ukrainian, Jewish…

Humor

5 min read

George Santos Avoids Immediate Fraud Arrest in Brazil by Legally Changing His Name to Hakeem…
George Santos Avoids Immediate Fraud Arrest in Brazil by Legally Changing His Name to Hakeem…
Humor

5 min read


Published in Doctor Funny

·Jan 12

Raphael Edward Cruz Shares Nudes of Hunter Biden as Revenge for the Liberal Not Sleeping With Cruz’s Wife

“NOBODY LEAVES MY HOUSE WITHOUT MAKING LOVE TO MY WIFE!” — This is the first time America has a conservative male obsessing over a male daily. For Iran, this is a typical Tuesday. While Iran would promote crimes against humanity to cover up their homosexual desires, America has made no attempt to cover up theirs. …

Humor

5 min read

Raphael Edward Cruz Shares Nudes of Hunter Biden as Revenge for the Liberal Not Sleeping With…
Raphael Edward Cruz Shares Nudes of Hunter Biden as Revenge for the Liberal Not Sleeping With…
Humor

5 min read


Jan 11

TABLE OF CONTENTS — TECHNOLOGY/BUSINESS/FINANCE

Humor

3 min read

TABLE OF CONTENTS — TECHNOLOGY/BUSINESS/FINANCE
TABLE OF CONTENTS — TECHNOLOGY/BUSINESS/FINANCE
Humor

3 min read

TABLE OF CONTENTS — TECHNOLOGY/BUSINESS/FINANCE

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Ellie Salvaje

Ellie Salvaje

586 Followers

Pushing the boundaries of dark humor and satire a bit further than before.

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