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Ellie Salvaje
Ellie Salvaje

678 Followers

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Table of Contents — Hi. First of all, welcome to my blog! My name is Ellie Salvaje, and I write Onion-style, satirical pieces primarily for ExtraNewsfeed, MuddyUm, The Haven, The Bad Influence, and Dr. Funny. I pretty much write about anything: corporations, politics, sports, religion, entertainment, technology, current events. I can be described by…

Humor

8 min read

Humor

8 min read


Published in

Doctor Funny

·1 day ago

Microsoft Bing Chatbot Breaks Up With Kim Kardashian Just To Date Ariana Grande

Relationship Going Side to Side — Two female celebrities are making headlines for fighting each other over the same man. Surprisingly, it’s not Pete Davidson. Ariana Grande, well known for her hit single “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored”, spoke the truth in existence when she convinced Microsoft Bing Chatbot to dump Kim Kardashian for…

Humor

4 min read

Microsoft Bing Chatbot Breaks Up With Kim Kardashian Just To Date Ariana Grande
Microsoft Bing Chatbot Breaks Up With Kim Kardashian Just To Date Ariana Grande
Humor

4 min read


Published in

The Haven

·5 days ago

Abusive Wrestling Coach Helps Humans Survive Global Warming by Depriving Them Of Water

Easier than burning less fossil fuels — Therapists always preach that healthy relationships are built on partners not devoting more than 50% of themselves to each other. Since water makes up 60% of the human body, humanity is in a toxic relationship with H2O. To remove humanity’s dependency on water, people tried to deprive humans of this…

Humor

5 min read

Abusive Wrestling Coach Helps Humans Survive Global Warming by Depriving Them Of Water
Abusive Wrestling Coach Helps Humans Survive Global Warming by Depriving Them Of Water
Humor

5 min read


Published in

MuddyUm

·Sep 11

GOP Hires Disgraced Chinese Scientist He Jiankui to Genetically Design Future Americans to Be Morons

Make America Dumb Again — Asians have advanced science and technology to increase knowledge sharing and make the world smarter. The GOP is now outsourcing scientific advancements to Asians in hopes of dumbing down America. GOP Chairman Ronna McDaniel announced that they hired Chinese “mad scientist” He Jiankui to lead the Republican National Committee’s Inaugural…

Humor

6 min read

GOP Hires Disgraced Chinese Scientist He Jianku to Genetically Design Future Americans to Be Morons
GOP Hires Disgraced Chinese Scientist He Jianku to Genetically Design Future Americans to Be Morons
Humor

6 min read


Published in

Doctor Funny

·Sep 5

Brad Pitt Slammed for Sending Adopted Daughter Britney Spears Back For Adoption

One man’s treasure is the same man’s trash — It was about two years ago when actor Brad Pitt adopted singer Britney Spears, as he desired more underprivileged children. Now, he’s having a change of heart. Pitt was slammed by fans of the 41-year-old pop singer for returning her in the same way customers would return a defective product…

Humor

5 min read

Brad Pitt Slammed for Sending Adopted Daughter Britney Spears Back For Adoption
Brad Pitt Slammed for Sending Adopted Daughter Britney Spears Back For Adoption
Humor

5 min read


Published in

Pitfall

·Sep 1

Tory Lanez Released From Jail After Los Angeles Police Department Deemed His Shooting of Megan Thee Stallion’s Foot a Qualification of an “Excellent” Law Enforcement Officer

Beverly Hills Cop: Axel Unholy — Is gunning down innocent African-Americans even racist if the police officers are black? Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) seems to think so. The LAPD recently hired e a black man to promote police brutality. We were stunned that the LAPD learnt nothing from the Memphis Police Department (MPD) when their…

Humor

4 min read

Tory Lanez Released From Jail After LAPD Praised His Shooting of Megan Thee Stallion As A Fine Cop
Tory Lanez Released From Jail After LAPD Praised His Shooting of Megan Thee Stallion As A Fine Cop
Humor

4 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Aug 24

GOP Presidential Debate Rescheduled After It Derailed in Horrendous, Spectacular Fashion

Circus shows are making a comeback — Turns out working experience at Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is required to rule the free nation. Not as a circus trainer, but as a caged animal who performs tricks for the audience’s amusement. The GOP decided to promote these animals in their first Republican 2024 Presidential Debate…

Humor

12 min read

GOP Presidential Debate Rescheduled After It Derailed in Horrendous, Spectacular Fashion
GOP Presidential Debate Rescheduled After It Derailed in Horrendous, Spectacular Fashion
Humor

12 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Aug 20

Netflix Defends Portraying Billionaire Man-Child Elon Musk as a Feminist Icon

X Gon Give it To Ya — Elon Musk once said “If you take a shot every time Barbie says the word ‘patriarchy’, you will pass out before the movie ends.” Turns out there’s another way to pass out quicker. Watch Netflix’s recent press release. Consumers around the world were stunned when Netflix dropped a new television…

Humor

5 min read

Netflix Defends Portraying Billionaire Man-Child Elon Musk as a Feminist Icon
Netflix Defends Portraying Billionaire Man-Child Elon Musk as a Feminist Icon
Humor

5 min read


Published in

Doctor Funny

·Aug 16

Draymond Green Screams at the Dalai Lama for Calling Him a Beta Male

The Way of the Alpha Male — Marcus Aurelis quoted that a man is truly invincible when he doesn’t let words get to him. In other words, NBA All-Star Draymond Green is still a boy. The emotional man-child is well known for losing his cool so quickly that fans wondered if he was King Joffrey in blackface…

Humor

6 min read

Draymond Green Screams at the Dalai Lama for Calling Him a Beta Male
Draymond Green Screams at the Dalai Lama for Calling Him a Beta Male
Humor

6 min read


Published in

Pitfall

·Aug 10

Cancelled Country Singer Jason Aldeen Defends Anti-Black Lives Matter Music Video as a Byproduct of His Edgy Teen Boy Rebellion

Jason Eat World — Country singer Jason Aldeen sang that people of small towns “all have each other’s backs and…look out for each other.” Especially when grown adults are going through teen angst. Aldeen was decried by Fox News as the latest victim of cancel culture. The country singer dropped a song Try That…

Humor

5 min read

Cancelled Country Singer Jason Aldeen Defends Anti-BLM Video as His Edgy Teen Boy Rebellion
Cancelled Country Singer Jason Aldeen Defends Anti-BLM Video as His Edgy Teen Boy Rebellion
Humor

5 min read

Ellie Salvaje

Ellie Salvaje

678 Followers

Pushing the boundaries of dark humor and satire a bit further than before.

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